Sinbad: The Fifth Voyage (2014) DVD Box Set | ||||||||
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About the Movie: | ||||||||
When the Sultan's first born is taken by an evil sorcerer, Sinbad is tasked with traveling to a desert of magic and creatures to save her. There is not enough space here to detail all the things that are terrible about this movie. First, let me start with the good: Uhh... hmm. Well, Patrick Stewart's voice is in it. That should count for something, right? Actually, no. It merely points out the huge chasm between his talent and the "talents" of everyone else involved in this picture. Also, he is ostensibly the older voice of the lead actor, who doesn't even have the same accent. I hope at least Sir Patrick bought himself a nice car with his salary from this awful film. The bad: No, "bad" is not a sufficient modifier to describe the extreme low level of quality here. Abysmal is more accurate. And that covers: the acting, the directing, the writing, the editing, the scoring, the producing, the special FX, the whole business. Here's why you should be suspicious when a movie receives a mix of 9 & 10-star reviews with 1-star reviews, and very little in-between: There is no motive whatsoever for a group of people to band together and give rotten fake reviews to a movie. There is, however, a huge motive for cast & crew and their friends & family to give massively positive and glowing reviews for the film they worked on. I'm sure an email blast was sent out to a mailing list, encouraging everyone to rate it highly and write a review. Ignore the rating. Ignore the 10-star reviews. They are bogus. Trust the 1-star reviews. There is nothing in this cinematic abomination that is worth recommending. It's not even a so-bad-it's-good kind of movie. None of these actors, directors, producers, writers, or editors should ever make a movie again — unless they each spend another 10,000 hours studying their craft... and at that point, they might possibly be almost ready to work on a Uwe Boll film. But I'd seriously advise all of them to become hotel clerks or real estate agents, because they really have no business trying to make movies for a living. |
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